Talk about where the sun doesn’t shine.
Schoharie County’s Howe Caverns is readying its chilly subterranean site to welcome au natural revelers for its sixth annual “Naked in a Cave” event on Saturday — which sees the elaborate underground system transformed into a nudist sanctuary for one wild night a year.
Colorful fall leaves won’t be the only thing on display upstate as hundreds of naked visitors let it all hang out inside the popular underground tourist lure.
But if you go, you better be brave enough to bare all.
“I won’t lie, the first year I sat in the parking lot for about an hour getting up the courage to go in,” Brookfield resident and event regular Chelsey Fay Ostrander, 32, told The Post about her first visit in 2021 — even with a newfound sense of confidence after losing 100 pounds.
“In the cave, you have to de-robe — or you can’t go.”
This year’s sold-out, self-guided walking event west of Albany is expected to be bigger than ever, luring in approximately 350 nude visitors, 21 and over, each paying $85 for what’s been touted as a celebration of body positivity.
‘Very nerve-racking’ — yet ‘exhilarating’
Ostrander admitted that the event, which starts with participants changing into a complimentary robe in the cave’s upper lobby area, was “very nerve-racking” because she went by herself.
However, after working up the chutzpah to bare all, she said the chilly 52-degree temperature below the surface — plus equally frigid water dripping from the cave ceiling — was barely noticeable. Her adrenaline had taken over during what she called a “very exhilarating experience.”
After only a few minutes, she felt right at home.
“It really wasn’t that big of a deal — there were naked people everywhere,” said Ostrander.
“I never got stared at. I didn’t feel weird … They’re just living their life, just like they were if they had clothes on.”
Eventually, Ostrander even made a friend with whom she keeps in touch on Facebook — and she hit it off with plenty of others as well.
“It really didn’t feel any different than if you just went to a bar by yourself,” she said.
Well, at least for the ladies.
Volunteer bartenders Brandy Karczewski and Shannon Avery both warned The Post about a less-than-liberating, male-centric issue famously lampooned in a “Seinfeld” episode: penile “shrinkage.”
“The running joke is that the cave benefits the women,” Karczewski quipped of the chilly climate, “but it does not benefit the men.”
Naked, but not afraid
Guests can take as long as they want to complete the stripped-down, 1½-mile walking tour of the caverns, which includes a quarter-mile boat ride.
But that’s only part of the night’s elaborate experience.
Notable add-ons include an arts and crafts session prior — a representative for the cave said a local studio brings see-through smocks to keep the skimpy ambiance — along with a filet mignon dinner, and the opportunity to hear comedian, musician and “The Sopranos” alum Steven van Zandt do a standup set after the nude stroll.
Although the E Street Band icon will likely do his show clothed, he retains the option to perform nude, according to Howe’s general manager, April Islip.
She added that guests can attend in the altogether — but only if they first cover their seats with the complimentary robes.
Better rush if you want to show off your tush
In its first year in 2018, Sarah Danser from Discovery Channel’s bare-all reality show “Naked and Afraid” was the evening’s de facto grand marshal. The event’s concept was a “group effort” initially tied to National Nude Day but has morphed into a sort of holiday upstate.
Admittedly, some locals didn’t quite get it initially, but nobody found it un-bare-able, according to Islip.
“Actually, to our surprise, the majority of feedback was very positive,” she told The Post.
Unfortunately, there won’t be another naked cave dive in 2025: this will be the final year for the event
That decision was not based on a plunge in popularity — each edition has either been sold out or close to it, organizers said — but instead reflected the hours of organizing required to bring in musicians, lots of hot beverages to keep everyone warm, plenty of grown-up libations, and countless other logistics.
Bartender Avery, 45, has volunteered her services — topless — every year but will be there solely as a guest for the final foray this weekend.
The Saratoga resident told The Post she’s “an Adirondack hippie” who loves being in the nude at any given chance.
However, she could tell not everyone was as immediately comfortable during the five years she’s worked the event.
“Some were a bit apprehensive about the temperature in the cave — as far as bartenders were able to help with that,” Avery said with a laugh.
But as Ostrander attested, the couple hundred folks — Avery described them as “people of different sizes and shapes and ages” — all settle in to have a booty-baring blast.
“I think with a large number of people who are doing something a little bit different and a lot of fun, it’s like positive peer pressure in a way,” said Avery, who is going for the first time this year — to celebrate her upcoming birthday in her birthday suit.
Avery, along with fellow chest-sharing bartender pal Karczewski, 44, spoke up about the high volume of newcomers as well.
“Every year you would get a lot of new faces,” the Albany-area resident Karczewski told The Post, saying they came mostly by word of mouth — and regret not coming sooner.
The drinks slinger said the event even makes for quite a romantic date night.
“A lot of couples were coming and were like, ‘Hey, I’m just going to take advantage — when the heck else can you do this?’” said Karczewski. “I think it was really liberating for a lot of people.”