Hayden Panettiere will “never be able to get over” her brother Jansen Panettiere’s death.
The actress spoke about losing the 28-year-old in February 2023 for the first time in a new People interview.
“He was my only sibling, and it was my job to protect him,” she said in Wednesday’s cover story. “When I lost him, I felt like I lost half of my soul.”
Hayden, 35, noted that she “will always be heartbroken about” her sibling’s death.
The loss has, however, given her a newfound perspective, with the “Heroes” alum explaining, “When something that massive has happened to you, you really learn to pick your fights and just not let the little things upset you.
“Because once something so horrific, so deep, so catastrophic happens in your life, there’s not much that can really rock you.”
Jansen died in his Nyack, NY, apartment due to an enlarged heart.
“Jansen’s heart could be seen in his eyes, and his charm in his brilliant, engaging smile; his soul in his masterful and revealing paintings, and the joy of life in his dry wit,” his family members wrote in a statement at the time. “[He] … will live forever in our hearts and in the hearts of all whom he encountered.”
When Michael Strahan shared his condolences with Hayden in a subsequent “Good Morning America” interview, she teared up and briefly replied, “He’s right here with me.”
The following month, the “Nashville” alum attended Jansen’s funeral — and the “shock” of being photographed outside the service led to resurfaced struggles with agoraphobia.
“I just ballooned out,” she recalled in the new People sit-down. “I didn’t feel confident to put on clothes and get out of the house, but I also knew that I needed to get out and keep moving or I’d never stop looking and feeling this way.”
Hayden explained that she got out of the “destructive hamster wheel” by seeking help from personal trainer Marnie Alton.
“Marnie empowered me,” she gushed, adding that the “long, beautiful” walks they took together were like “therapy sessions” for her.
“My body just started reacting, not just from the working out. It allowed me to release the stress, the high expectations I’d always put on myself,” the Golden Globe nominee said. “There’s nothing like looking in the mirror and feeling like you look good enough to walk out the door.”
Hayden went on to share rare details about her 9-year-old daughter, Kaya, whom she shares with ex-fiancé Wladimir Klitschko, gushing about the little one’s love of golf and horses.