A bride has been branded ‘tacky’ after she sent out what we effectively ‘you are not invited cards’ before her wedding.
The soon-to-be-wife’s cousin, who was one of the few who was actually invited said the engaged couple wanted a small wedding with just close friends and family due to budget.
The bride then took it upon herself to let guests know by post that they would not be attending the wedding, consoling them with a message of ‘you are in our hearts on this special day’.
For the cousin, who shared this all on Reddit, she wrote: ‘The [bride and groom’s] excuse is for the sake of “curiosity and thinking of them”.
‘But what I don’t understand is why send this before the wedding. It would make more sense after.’
The guest felt this was in poor taste, and Redditors agreed. One wrote: ‘Surely the only reason for this would be to hope those people still send a gift even though they are not invited. Seems so tacky.’
Another agreed, saying: ‘It must be to try for more wedding gifts, don’t you think? I mean… who could think that saying “we’re having a party but you can’t come” is nice? Maybe it is the insane bridal delusion that somehow they are transformed into a special being whose very gaze can cast blessings.’
The cards weren’t the only point of issue for this wedding guest though. She also shared she’d be expected to travel five hours to the wedding and then help set up.
‘I got a text from the couple saying that “everyone has a role to help set up. Once the ceremony is done the wedding party will leave to take photos while the guests set up the tables for the reception”,’ she explained.
It’s safe to say, she was pretty taken aback by the demand. ‘I was like, what? They never asked if people are willing to do that, they just dictated to people what to do,’ she said.
The guest responded to the bride over text, saying: ‘You’re telling people who drove five hours to your wedding, spent their gas and hotel money, to set up for your wedding?’
The future newlyweds said yes, and that people were okay with it.
‘Where is the respect, ettiquette and morals,’ the guest added. ‘They said financially they can’t hire people to set up but they had almost two years to save and what did they do to save? They went travelling instead.’
Commenters weren’t impressed with this demand either.
‘What they are planning sucks and is rude and that’s reason to not attend,’ wrote one. ‘If you do want to go to see family and to see a possible train wreck, make it clear that you aren’t going to help set anything up.
‘If she sends you a notice of your “job”, reply back that you have other plans and will catch up with her at the reception.’
Another suggested: ‘Depending on if you would like to see the family and are otherwise healthy. Go and setup a few tables. Later when they ask about what happened to their gift, say you thought that was the gift.’
One other agreed, having guests help set up wasn’t totally outrageous. ‘The big deal is more of the demanding that guests do this instead of asking or volunteers,’ they added.
Another said: ‘Ugh. If they had sent a message asking for volunteers, I’d be the first in line. But telling me I’m expected to help makes me want to cancel.’
This hasn’t been the only case of controversial wedding etiquette from couples planning their upcoming nuptials.
For nearly half of brides-to-be, the guest list is the most stressful part of the wedding planning process – and it’s only made worse by those who do not send their RSVPs.
This was the case for one bride, in particular, whose response to her indecisive guests made waves but was ultimately branded ‘genius’ and ‘brilliant’.
In a segment on The Drew Barrymore Show, the actress-turned-TV-show-host read out a pointed ‘missed RSVP message’ addressed to guests who hadn’t yet responded to her invitation.
The message said: ‘We’re sorry that you can’t make it to our wedding. Our RSVP deadline has now passed and you unfortunately did not respond. We would have loved to have you attend, but final numbers have now been turned in and your presence will be missed.’
In the TikTok comments, people were particularly fond of the bride’s idea.
‘It seems passive aggressive but it really isn’t. Passively assertive…and brilliant,’ TikToker Undone One wrote.
Coupon With Kayla commented: ‘Weddings are too expensive NOT to do this tbh.’
‘She gracefully let them know to not show up because they will not get a seat or plate🤷🏻♀️as a former bride with unexpected guests, I approve,’ said Kenna Jaide.
We’ll never get tired of a little bit of wedding drama…
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