It’s a lot.
If there’s anything to be learned from Quebec history, it’s that constitutional agreements are difficult and poutine counts as a meal.
As anyone who has ever capped off a long night at La Belle Province can tell you, poutine will do the job on its own.
Here, in no particular order, is all the stuff they’re stuffing on poutine this year:
- Falafel, pickled turnips and garlic sauce (this is, confusingly, referred to as “Poutine Tzaziki”)
- Lobster. A “generous portion” of lobster, to be precise. Also garlic sauce, because reasons
- Pulled pork with barbecue sauce
- “Pulled Quebec pork ribs smoked with apple wood, a house blend of dried spices and barbecue sauce” (not to be confused with the previous entry on pulled pork with barbecue sauce)
- The toppings of a Hawaiian pizza (ham, pineapple) but also mustard???
- Spiral fries — not as a replacement for your standard-issue poutine fries, but as a topping — bacon and jalapenos
- Takis-flavoured tortilla chips, bacon bits, sour cream, lime and Tajín seasoning
- Chicken chunks in General Tao-style sauce
- Popcorn chicken in a honey-mustard sauce
- Greek chicken, feta and tzatziki (curiously this is not the item on the menu listed as “Poutine Tzaziki” despite the presence of the sauce)
- Smoked meat, a dice of pickles and a squirt of mustard
- Hot dog chunks
- Duck confit with a maple-port sauce and bits of onion ring
- Dumplings with spicy honey and sesame
- Beef meatballs slow-cooked in a hoisin sauce
- Just a normal poutine, which at this point may count as the health option
If you would like any and/or all of these creations, Poutinefest is in the Old Port through July 28, with musical guests Freddie James Project, Phil Lauzon, Lili-Ann de Francesco and Édouard Lagacé all scheduled to appear.
God have mercy on our arteries.