“You’re disgusting!”
That was the bathroom battle cry of Debbie Wiener, whose home was the scene of endless toilet turmoil when she and her husband shared a bathroom.
Wiener, a retired interior designer, decided last year that it was time to end the tyranny of the toilet and opt for a bathroom divorce. It’s not unlike a sleep divorce, in which couples have their own dedicated spaces for slumber to stay off each other’s nerves. But with a bathroom divorce, other functions are at hand.
“As you get older, your gastrointestinal needs change,” Wiener said. “My husband’s habits didn’t age well. One toilet was not cutting it.”
Wiener, 66 — who doesn’t poo-poo toilet talk — hated her bathroom ever since she and her husband, Jim Weinberger, 67, bought their house on Maryland’s Eastern Shore. That was in 2011, when their two sons were teenagers.
They lived — although miserably — with a bathroom connected to the primary bedroom on the ground floor.
Its layout was bizarre: Someone actually had to walk through the bathroom to reach the bedroom.
“If you are sitting on the toilet and someone wanted to go into the bedroom, they were going to pass you,” Wiener said. “It was kind of a joke.”
Fed up, she resolved to solve the commode crisis and create a spouse-saving bathroom suite, with two of everything.
It’s the envy of everyone she knows, Wiener told The Post.
“All my neighbors lined up to see my bathroom. Every time I tell a woman about my bathroom, she is, like, ‘OMG I want that.’ This is the next step after a sleep divorce. You can share a vanity without sharing cooties. You can share a wet room but not a toilet.”
(That former, and awkwardly placed, bathroom? It has a new life as a linen closet.)
While it’s unclear whether there’s a trend toward “separate primary baths” or “his and hers bathrooms” in new or remodeled homes, primary baths are becoming larger, said Tricia Zach, director of research for the National Kitchen and Bath Association.
The primary bathroom — once a spot for “quick, utilitarian use” — has become a luxurious place for “relaxation and self-care,” Zach told The Post. Two people can get ready at the same time and can customize the space to their liking.
It can also bring less conflict.
Whereas Wiener pronounced her husband’s bathroom habits disgusting, he insisted her standards were too high.
“Sometimes I climbed the stairs to use the kids’ bathroom,” she said. “Sometimes I had to wait to use the bathroom. It is no fun to yell at your husband, ‘you are disgusting,’ and have him yell at you, ‘you are too fussy.’”
Her husband downplays the value of a lavatory do-over.
“I don’t think about the bathroom that much,” Weinberger said. “The bathroom is not a huge part of my life. Debbie comes from a different place on this because of her profession.”
Wiener is known for creating the Slobproof touch-up paint pen, and previously created Slobproof furniture, with mess-resistant fabric. Her husband is retired from online publishing. They also have a toddler grandson.
“Living with a house of all men, the floor in front of the toilet — I can’t begin to say what a sticking point that was for me,” Wiener added.
“If you’re second in line for the toilet, it needs to be fumigated before you use it. I couldn’t deal with that. I should be able to use a toilet without taking precautions.”
For her family, a bathroom addition could be located easily — although, with the final cost well over $100,000, not inexpensively — between the house and the detached garage.
Wiener tested assorted bathroom designs.
“At one point I had a huge toilet room with dueling toilets facing each other,” she said. “We could have major conversations there, but friends and family said: Do you really want both toilets in use at the same time?”
The chosen design includes a shared sink room with a vanity built for two, but “my toothbrush and his will never touch,” Wiener said.
In the wet room, Wiener likes to bathe in a big tub, rinsing with a handheld shower. Her husband prefers a stand-up shower with body sprays. The floor, with a drain, has rough slate flooring that is completely non-slip.
As for the two toilet rooms, “my husband’s toilet is 21 inches tall because he is 6’6”,” Wiener said. “My feet wouldn’t touch the floor.”
He also demands an overflow of toilet paper and wipes.
“Other people stockpile canned goods,” Wiener said. “I stockpile two-ply.”
For toilet-room flooring, she used sheet vinyl. “The only thing I was thinking was: What happens when he misses that toilet?” she said. “With sheet vinyl, you can mop it in two seconds.”
In addition, house cleaners arrive every other week.
“I shut his bathroom door till they come,” said Wiener.
In her own toilet room, she has a “comfort height” toilet, puzzle books and even an antique metal toilet plunger for stacking rolls of toilet paper.
“I find myself spending extra time in there to finish a word find,” she said. “I feel like I am not only helping my digestive system — I am helping my mind.”
She considered smell privacy, along with sight and sound privacy. Each toilet room has its own ventilation system and solid-wood doors that close tightly.
“Now, there is peace and harmony in the bathroom,” Wiener said. “We each have a private room and nobody knows what’s going on. With two toilets, I am a much happier person. At home, I have toilet nirvana.”