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Thank God for the Cardinal
It was the Cardinal’s birthday. The thing is, what do you tell a Cardinal? I know it’s not mazel tov.
And what do you give a Cardinal? Forget wardrobe, jeans or a puffer jacket. Can’t go heavy on jewelry. Tie pin? No. So what can you give an Eminence besides three new Catholics?
What is the accepted ceremony: genuflect in front of a statue?
Timothy Cardinal Dolan, whom the public loves, had 100 of his friends at the NY Athletic Club. Drinks, a few words, chicken barbecue, cookies, desserts, songs and His Eminence going to each table and blessing them.
I just want to say we’re grateful for him.
Fashion cents
The Oscars. Those who can’t go can at least dress the part. Ralph & Russo shmattas once worn by Kidman, Kardashian, Paltrow and been on the bones of Zendaya, Kylie Minogue, Crawford, Rita Ora and Jolie headed to auction at Bonhams in London. Some of these foreheads had less work done on them than their shmatta did. Bids went from 2,000 to 5,000 pounds. The auction just ended, so if you didn’t grab anything just schlep out to the consignment shop near you.
Hit the books
Bill O’Reilly’s nudging whether Biden grabbed any shekels due to his son — nicknamed Sticky — saying Joe’s finances should be scrutinized. James Comer and Jim Jordan investigate, but Congress can’t prosecute. Only the Justice Dept. can. Unless Trump makes a move — and Hell will freeze first — looks like slo-mo Joe is a no-go bro.
Marvels of modern times
Antisemitism’s bigger today on campuses than math — but how many films can you produce with that concept? Now Hollywood’s scratching for a light-skinned type to surround with a movie. If it includes publicizing the aged or obese, even better. With Black Lives Matter already familiar as the Ten Commandments, Hollywood is hunting a new sustainable misery.
Marvel did semi-good with Brie Larson in “Captain Marvel.” All the tea in China helped their Asian “Shang-Chi” thing which wasn’t the most super exciting since Marco Polo found silk. In their “Thunderbolts*” four of the six are white — a true mazel tov or whatever they say in downtown Shanghai.
Could be Hollywood’s more global today, broker today, more frightened today. Maybe now less vulnerable to pressure from the hard right zeitgeist. Maybe would be nice if they ground out a sweet film without death, murder, strangulation, disease or hatred.
New York, New York, you’re a sell of a town. This unfamiliar salesman tried hustling me into a new computer. I said to him, “If you’re selling these machines way under price, like you say, how can you make a living?” The guy said: “Simple. We make our money fixing them.”
Elsewhere, an American diplomat was playing cards with a Russian diplomat. The Russian blew all he had and offered to stake his wife for 500 rubles. The American felt it was too high. The Russian reduced it to 200. Still too high. The Russian asked, “So what would you pay for her?” The State Dept. guy said, “Nothing.” The Russian said: “OK, you can have her.”