“This is a roast-free zone,” clarifies Julie Golden, producer and host of “The Big D: A Comedy Matchmaking Show for Divorced Singles.” “It’s a fun, relaxed hang where you might meet the love of your life. But worst-case scenario, you are definitely going to laugh.”
Golden’s reality-TV background and matchmaking insight — she said she’s personally responsible for three successful marriages to date — are behind her new comedy show and divorced singles mixer debuting Saturday night at Westside Comedy Theater in Santa Monica. As the annual tradition of pre-holidays “cuffing season” begins, “I’m finding people in my generation don’t even know what that is. I’m trying to explain it to them,” she says of the dating trend.
A self-described “former film studio executive turned screenwriter turned reality TV producer,” Golden has overseen series at Netflix, Discovery and TruTV. She’s been performing onstage for a year and a half. “The most exciting thing to me about stand-up comedy is no notes from the middle person. It’s you and the audience, and you get the notes right away.”
With Dana Weddle, she co-produces and co-hosts the “See You Next Tuesday” monthly show at Kookaburra Lounge in Hollywood. “A lot of what I talk about on stage is dating on the back half of life and being a single divorced mom,” she says. “I’ve been out eight years, so I’m an old pro now.”
A current favorite bit involves being on the Island of Misfit Toys with “some seriously jacked-up dolls missing pretty crucial parts.”
Golden began taking comedy classes when her mother died last December after battling cancer. She credits stand-up with helping her heal. Her overall goal with “The Big D” is “to make anybody feel less alone in the audience and lift their spirits.”
Around the same time Westside was looking for new produced shows, she recalls seeing plenty of comedy dating shows around the local scene, but they skewed young and tended to punch down. “It’s not my kind of humor. So I’m not even drawn to it as a comic.” Also, “this was a neglected demographic on the dreaded dating-apps scene.” Golden’s No. 1 red flag on apps: if someone has a problem with her being a comic.
To find eligible singles, Golden hit the L.A. streets and worked with “America’s Got Talent” casting producer Naela Durrani for “more curated” local options. “The thing reality TV and comedy have in common is I love talking to people,” says Golden. “Even as an executive, I’ve always used humor as a way to disarm people in the best possible way. I know how to connect people.”
At “The Big D,” Golden and comics Shawn Pelofsky, Ismael Loutfi, Christie Campagna and Torrance Hill — all “in various stages of divorce” — invite 12 audience members identifying as, per Golden’s description, “divorced, separated, consciously uncoupled, teetering on the edge, divorce-curious, looking to date a divorced human,” onstage for an interview and speed-date pairing. (No drink minimum required.) Comics offer date prompts, with the audience‘s vote for “Best Couple” winning $100 toward a future date. Following the show, a half-hour mixer opens the floor to anyone at the venue. The event is sponsored by the social group Los Angeles Fun Events.
“Comedy is the social lubricant that disarms the room in a good way,” Golden notes, “so that this stuff can feel a little more natural of a dating environment. I wanted to create almost a salon or a dinner party that doesn’t exist anymore, where you would show up and already know there are like-minded people.”
Is sharing a similar sense of humor a relationship prerequisite? “You can pick up on something about someone’s past relationships through what they find funny, or what they can’t find funny,” Golden stresses. “And then also it’s emotional intelligence, right? So if you can’t laugh at the same thing, I just don’t think you’re speaking the same language.”
Hands down, Golden emphasizes, divorce has proved to be the hardest thing she’s yet to go through in life. At times she’s felt alone, and she knows others have felt the same way.
“That’s what I was writing about when I first hit the stage,” she says. “When I see people going through it in the beginning, like they’ve just been unplugged in ‘The Matrix,’ you know they can’t avoid this pain. I love guiding somebody through those first stages and talking about ‘Where are you in the process?’ a lot, the post-marriage process. It was something that came very naturally to me.
“It is a very lonely and scary time in the beginning. I wanted to try and make it a little less lonely and a little less scary. Especially while everything else is going on in the world.”