‘It’s like living with a cut which will never heal,’ Toni Freeman says when talking about her sister, Lorraine, who disappeared 26 years ago in 1998.
‘Like lots of siblings, we bickered when we were younger. But we grew really close as we got older, like two peas in a pod.
‘She’s missed out on so much since she vanished.’
Lorraine, Toni and their brother Peter were brought up in a three-bedroom house in Carnwadric, a neighbourhood in Glasgow. The siblings rode bikes, played games like Monopoly and watched films together and with local kids.
Parents Anthony, a mechanical fitter, and Phyllis, a care worker, had met while working in the RAF. The Freemans, of Jamaican heritage, were one of a handful of families of colour in the Carnwadric area and supported each other in the rare instances they faced racist abuse. But, for the most part, their life in Scotland was positive.
‘It was a nice, close community where we growed up,’ Toni tells . ‘Lorraine was the oldest and born in 1963. She and I had some of those typical teenage sister battles, like when I pinched her clothes or things like that. She was quite shy at school and struggled a bit because she was dyslexic. Lorraine left school at 16 and really came out of her shell when she began to work. She was a lot happier and had a lot of friends.’
Lorraine worked at the local Holiday Inn and worked hard, saving up her wages. The sisters, in search of new adventures, both moved to England in their early twenties. Toni headed to the Lake District to work in a hotel while Lorraine relocated to St John’s Wood in London for her job.
Despite the 300-mile distance, the pair remained close.
‘We called on the landline every week or two to catch-up,’ Toni recalls. ‘Lorraine was dyslexic so learning a bit more about reading and writing. She really enjoyed it and seemed to be coming into her own.
‘It was around then she met her boyfriend, Philip. They both moved in together, into a flat in Essex. As far as I was aware, they were quite happy.’
Lorraine and Phillip’s flat was in Purfleet, Essex – just a few minutes from the local train station.
‘It was the type of place I’d never thought Lorraine would have lived,’ Toni continues. ‘It was a very small rented room above an Indian takeaway. I was making good money from work at the time so said, “look, I can lend you some money if you want to move somewhere bigger. Why are you here?”
‘Lorraine was always very tidy and precise, so it just felt such a strange place for her to live. But she showed me her bank balance and said she did have money, she just wanted to save up.’
On August 3, 1998 Philip and Lorraine – who were engaged by this point – strolled down Purfleet’s High Street toward a taxi rank. Philip was off to Ireland to visit family and jumped in a cab to the airport while Lorraine waved him off.
When he returned ten days later on August 13, she was gone. Lorraine’s personal items, including her purse, remained at the flat. Phillip called the police to report his fiance missing and officers called Lorraine’s mum Phyllis who let the wider family know.
‘The day we were told she vanished, I just couldn’t believe it,’ Toni recalls. ‘For the first few months I just kept thinking she would show up. Lorraine had no reason to run away, she was having the time of her life and had a life and a future to look forward to. I told myself she’d gone on holiday or something while Philip was away. Everytime the phone rang, I would think “could it be her?”
In a television appeal, Phillip and Phyllis begged for anyone with information to come forward.
On September 14, 1998, Det Insp Terry Geraghty told the Colchester Gazette: ‘It’s a month now since she [Lorraine] was last seen and although we have no reason to think anything has happened to her, we are becoming more anxious as there has been no news of her.
‘We believe that for her to go missing is out of character. There is no suggestion that she has left the country. Inquiries are continuing at a reasonably high level.’
Gravel pits near Lorraine’s home were searched and a local lake was dredged as part of investigations. But no trace of the 35-year-old was ever found and no arrests were ever made in relation to her disappearance.
Lorraine left no note or any warning signs she was looking to start a new life. Toni and her family still suspect foul play was involved in her disappearance and that police should have interviewed more people to piece together her final days.
‘Police didn’t speak to me for a long time,’ Toni, who now lives in Barrow-in-Furness, Cumbria, says. ‘Her friends weren’t spoken to either. One got in touch with my mum after not hearing from Lorraine for months and had no clue she’d vanished without a trace.
‘I think it was four years after Lorraine disappeared that the police interviewed me. They spoke to mum at the time, but from what mum said, they [the police] did think the disappearance was strange. It was a lot easier to hide things back then, people are a lot more visible now.’
Essex Police Chief Inspector Anthony Atkin says long-term missing persons’ cases, such as Lorraine’s, are reviewed annually for ‘fresh perspective.’ In a statement provided to Metro, CI Atkin explains: ‘As district commander [for the Thurrock region], I have reviewed the investigation on several occasions personally. We continue to carry out intelligence checks in the hope that we will find a trace of her whereabouts.
‘Our original files show that, at the time, we carried out a thorough investigation. House-to-house enquiries were conducted, a nearby lake was searched, and CCTV footage of her last known movements was obtained and followed up. Her records have been shared nationally and cross-checked across all forces, and the National Crime Agency also have a copy of Lorraine’s dental records and DNA.’
Toni was pregnant with her first child, Ryan, when her sister went missing. Lorraine was excited to become an auntie, so when Ryan was born in 1999, Toni knew something very wrong had happened.
‘I hadn’t heard anything,’ she says quietly. ‘Lorraine would have tried to visit or send a message if she was alive. But she didn’t and that’s when I knew for sure something bad had happened. She’d never leave us like this.’
On every visit to Scotland to visit family, Lorraine’s disappearance was a ‘dark cloud’ hanging over everyone. On birthdays or other celebrations, conversations would inevitably turn to where she might be.
‘Even now, it’s like living with a cut that never healed,’ Toni says. ‘I think about her an awful lot. She’s missed out on so many good times. You’d think after all these years that we’d hear something, but there’s been nothing. Every time I saw on the news about a body found in Essex I’d think, “could it be her?”’’
Lorraine, if alive, would now be 62.
Toni isn’t sure what has happened to her boyfriend as he hasn’t kept in touch with the family. ‘Last I heard, he moved back to Ireland,’ she says.
Lorraine’s mother Phyllis is now 84 and in hospital with dementia while she awaits a room in a care home. Before her mind deteriorated, she kept one of Lorraine’s teddy bears in her living room as a source of hope. Meanwhile Anthony, Lorraine’s dad, died several years ago. Their brother Paul is currently in hospital with schizophrenia.
Toni, a service manager for supported living homes, solely carries the weight of Lorraine’s disappearance on her shoulders. But the 59-year-old credits her ‘lovely family’ and ‘fantastic friends’ for letting her live a ‘very full life’ despite the trauma of losing Lorraine, as well as the charity Missing People which supports families like hers.
If a song comes on which Lorraine liked growing up – such as anything by Duran Duran and Haircut 100 – then Toni’s mind wanders.
‘She is always there in my mind,’ Toni adds. ‘You never get over something like this, how could you? When someone goes missing, it is important you talk about them. My friends will always say “have you heard anything?” and I like that, I think it’s an important way of supporting me.’
Lorraine has never been pronounced dead and, as a result, there is no physical memorial to her. Toni says she ‘might look into’ doing so in the future but, just now she’s still holding onto hope.
‘I want to know what happened to my sister,’ she says firmly. ‘I won’t stop talking about her. Even if it turns out she did decide to start a new life and wants nothing to do with us, which I think is highly unlikely, I just want to know.’
Have you seen Lorraine?
Lorraine Freeman is mixed race with brown eyes. At the time of disappearance, she was of slim build, had shoulder length brown hair and was roughly 5 feet 1 inches tall.
Kate Graham from the charity Missing People tells : ‘Anyone who may have seen Lorraine or remember any information about the time she went missing can call or text Missing People anonymously on 116 000 or email [email protected]. Sightings and information about any missing person can also be given anonymously through the Missing People website.’
CI Atkin, of Essex Police, adds: ‘We remain dedicated in our search for Lorraine and hope that, one day, her family can get the answers they deserve. Should any new information come to light, we will review this and pursue any new lines of enquiry.’
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