Netflix viewers at risk of becoming ‘complicit’ in Sweet Bobby case

Netflix viewers have been warned against becoming complicit in enabling abuse amid immense backlash against the victim of Sweet Bobby.

The harrowing documentary tells the true story of Londoner Kirat Assi who was catfished by a man named Bobby for a decade.

Over that time, she was spun a web of lies, manipulated, and encouraged into a romantic relationship.

In 2018, she discovered that Bobby did really exist – but it wasn’t the person she had been speaking to.

In fact, Kirat’s female cousin Simran had been behind it all, pretending to be Bobby going through various health struggles, and even faking voices to appear as his family members on the phone and online with fake profiles.

Since the documentary’s release, radio presenter Kirat has faced a tirade of victim-blaming online, with several viewers accusing her of ‘falling for it’.

One cruel comment on a Facebook group read: ‘I don’t even feel sorry for her. How do you get catfished for 10 years!!! Like she needs to see a doctor she has issues.’

Another said: ‘Wow. This girl is too gullible. Dunno how she managed this drama for 10 years.’

Others hit out at the ‘judgemental’ comments, calling Kirat ‘brave’ for telling her story, and branding the documentary ‘eye-opening’.

Viewers have now been warned against perpetuating the stigma around emotional manipulation and romance fraud.

Anna Rowe, founder of Catch The Catfish and co-founder of LoveSaid, charities which support victims of fraud, said: ‘The stigma in cases of Romance Fraud, of which Kirat’s catfishing case sits, is caused by uneducated members of society with no understanding of the emotional manipulation and coercion that takes place within the created ‘relationship’. 

‘Academic research backs up the experiences of all victims. Grooming (in Kirat’s case a family member who already knew her) could delve deeper, love bombing consumes the victim and centres them as the most important person in the abusers life, trauma bonding creates fear of loss in several ways and coercive behaviour ensures the victim stays compliant. 

‘A fake reality is created around the victim with casts of characters who can each back up the lies told, to normalise and legitimise the behaviours. 

‘These abusers cause a trauma that is deep and takes a long time to overcome.

‘A society that shows lack of empathy and understanding are complicit in the enabling of abusers.’

This comes after Kirat told Metro about the impact the catfishing has had on her life.

‘It’s never gone away. It’s always there,’ she said, adding: ‘I hope by coming forward, other victims are not treated the same way.’

She said: ‘I didn’t want to be shamed into silence. If that happened nobody would know the extent of the problem, and nothing will ever be put in place to deal with it.’

She also explained how she discovered victim-blaming can often be prevalent in catfishing cases, saying it can be ‘seen as a joke’.

Kirat first told her story in a Tortoise podcast in 2021, after suing Simran in a civil court.

In a bid not to left the past define her future, she said: ‘People wonder how I can still have a smile on my face, but nobody is going to steal the rest of my life from me. Too much has already been taken.

‘I’m just stupidly determined to live the rest of my life.’