Netflix smash ‘Nobody Wants This’ gets real romance EXACTLY wrong

As a woman in my mid-30s, I love a good rom-com, so of course I had to check out this fall’s new “it” show, “Nobody Wants This” with Adam Brody and Kristen Bell.

The hype has been intense: The series secured the No. 1 spot on Netflix just hours after its debut, and it’s still in the top spot now, two weeks later. Every online reference draws hundreds of comments swooning over the writing and the chemistry between the two main characters. 

This is romance, millions of American women have decided. Brody and Bell are the perfect couple; in 2024, this is what love looks like. 

But there’s a twist, as there always is in this genre: Brody is Noah, a reform rabbi, and Bell plays Joanne, an agnostic blonde who hosts a podcast about her unsuccessful but, how do I say this sensitively, very active dating life.

Every good rom-com has to have some element of suspense, something that leaves viewers wondering, “Will they or won’t they?” 

But after watching 10 episodes, I was left asking: Why would they? 

Noah and Joanne have nothing in common, literally: All we see them talk about is their incompatibility.

The show sends the message that none of that discordance matters; that it’s not a profound limiting factor on the future viability of a relationship.

The two have chemistry — we know a lot about how much fun they’re having in the bedroom.

But the lesson this show teaches is that sexual energy is all that matters — and that couldn’t be more wrong.

The first time I heard someone describe my husband, I remember how they listed his attributes: Yankees fan, a deeply Zionist Jew, conservative and interested in politics, and such a fan of the movie “The Princess Bride” that he would often quote it in casual conversation. 

After having dated non-Jewish guys, guys who didn’t know the difference between Ronald Reagan and Barack Obama, guys who were bored by the saga of Buttercup and Westley, and yes, even one Red Sox fan, I knew how important all of these attributes would be for me.

All of those relationships ended because of those core compatibility issues. 

We’ve been married for almost 15 years and have had six kids together, so I’m fairly confident that decision was the right one.

That’s why I’m finding the rootlessness of the relationship in “Nobody Wants This” so distressing. 

Brody’s Noah doesn’t just happen to be Jewish; he’s built his life around his faith.

In contrast, Bell’s Joanne has never heard of the words mitzvah, shalom or Shabbat — an ignorance that’s quite an accomplishment in a city like Los Angeles.

Even after meeting her new flame, Joanne shows no interest in expanding her horizons to get a better view of her boyfriend’s faith and family.

The drama of ”Nobody Wants This” centers around how characters outside the relationship — family, colleagues, friends —  perceive Noah and Joanne’s differences.

But in the real world, this couple would soon find that those differences would fatally impede their relationship with each other. 

Fundamental beliefs about the things we care about most — whether that’s religion, politics or even baseball — are critically important building blocks for any relationship with a future.

Major divergences on what matters most in the world don’t bode well for Joanne and Noah. 

In my own marriage, we’ve never had to wonder how we would raise our kids or make major decisions; our shared big-picture priorities mean we’re on the same page about how we want to live our lives and form our family.

But for the millions of single women watching Netflix while on the hunt for their One, “Nobody Wants This” doesn’t even come close to modeling a healthy or sustainable relationship.

It’s not romantic to have nothing in common with your partner, and sexual energy alone won’t nurture a relationship that lacks a foundation.

Adam Brody’s Noah would be spending any given Saturday leading his congregation in prayer, while Kristen Bell’s Joanne munched on prosciutto at a boozy brunch.

That’s not romantic, nor is it a formula for a future together — it’s a relationship, and a show, that should end after just one season.

Bethany Mandel is co-author of “Stolen Youth” and a homeschooling mother of six in greater Washington, DC.

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