We don’t have to be experts on geopolitical conflict to communicate what’s right: Every person is worthy of love, safety and life.
Silence doesn’t shield children. Honest discussion will shape their understanding of the world and their relationship with others in it as they learn to either empathize with suffering or ignore it.
“They’re not shooting stars.” My daughter stood in the kitchen, eyes wide watching the news. The TV recapped the latest crossfire in a conflict happening half a world away that, nonetheless, felt close to home. I watched the scene unfold first in a live broadcast during my lunch hour. How do I explain what she’s seeing? What if I turn the channel?
My kids know my personal politics. They see me talking back to political pundits while I prepare lunches each morning before school, and they often joke about my ability to respond to any question with an answer focused on a social justice issue. They know war is happening.
Each time the conflict escalates, however, a refreshed conversation is required. For many, war is not a far-off concept. It is immediate, terrifying and inescapable. It’s our responsibility, as caregivers and humans, to help kids understand the realities of war if we’re to have a generation that doesn’t seek violence as a solution.
Violence isn’t a foreign concept to kids. They talk about it on the blacktop as they brag about Fortnite rankings. They absorb it from superhero movies where each conflict ends in a battle and from cartoons where pain is the punchline. In movies and games, the hero lives to fight another day, and the villain is held responsible. It doesn’t always work out like that in real life.
If we say nothing about war, we might shield kids from the world’s woes, allowing them to just be kids, with the next math test as their greatest worry. But this will contribute to a generation that dismisses the distress of others as distant, foreign or irrelevant.
Talking about war exposes kids to the callousness of the world, the harsh truth that harming others until you achieve control is a fair way to win. But in this reality, there is an opportunity for empathy that can inspire action.
We can teach kids, as early as preschool, that debate is a better way to disagree, that diplomacy is a tool for reconciliation, and that children — once seen and not heard — can stand up for themselves, their friends and others. This will make them better advocates on the playground and as they grow into our next generation of leaders.
Children will learn how to do the right thing if we model it for them. We don’t have to be experts on geopolitical conflict to communicate what’s right: Every person is worthy of love, safety and life.
Demonstrate what empathy looks like in action. Encourage your children to think about what they would want if they were in the shoes of those affected by conflict. Would they want others to speak up or to help in some way? Small acts of kindness, like writing letters, collecting supplies or making a donation, will demonstrate that something can be done and children can make a difference.
Arron Neal is a communications strategist, writer and mother of two exploring the intersection of work, parenting and culture. She lives on the South Shore.