James Keivom
On hunt for lame ducks
Our mayor? Oy! So: Lose his cuff links. Wrinkle his suit. Narrow his ties. Crimp his style. Shove his playmates. Lose his cabinet. Make him hire someone above his landlady.
We knew he was in over his wallet. East Side, West Side, all around the town — New York’s smart. We have friends in Brooklyn. Police chiefs even told us he’d never run anything before.
Before his City Hall leap, he strategized with ex-Mrs. de Blasio, about whom reports reported she’s reportedly light mathematically. Reportedly. So we knew.
We understood he wasn’t Churchill. BUT: Ghost Biden’s guilty son who sold his entire country still wanders about freely. Didn’t just screw one city. He screwed an entire nation.
Even maybe buyers of his effing paintings which art historians haven’t yet offered to purchase.
And he’s still bumbling around? And his father’s still fumbling around? And his uncle’s still stumbling around? And his government’s still crumbling around?
Do unto others as you would unto your president’s pled guilty son!
Fine Eric. Make him repay what his buddies took. Let him limp along to the end of his term.
With what’s left he can buy Biden’s beach condo in Delaware. And this way we can get ready for our next temp electee.
Flake out
Gone since 2019, NYC’s 57th and Fifth Snowflake Ball tradition is back Nov. 22 at the Pierre. Collaborating with Citymeals on Wheels, this will honor chef Daniel Boulud.
The physical ’flake’s 30 feet tall, 16,500 individual crystals, 3,300 pounds, full-color LED lights, new algorithmic patterns, 760,000 colors. Snow day’s until January.
Red-letter day
Those nice, sweet baby-faced brothers Erik and Lyle Menendez — who killed their parents, and got hung juries in their first LA trials — are right now getting a true crime series.
Why? Who knows. Maybe because they’ve won pity because they’re now orphans.
But back in 1993 following the mistrials, brother Lyle’s four-page handwritten note to a then actual girlfriend was uncovered, saying, in part: “After you read this and absorb it, I want you to throw this letter away. Do that right away so you don’t forget. Maybe you can take some notes in your own handwriting.”
When Trial 1 osmosed into a second LA courtroom that same former girlfriend Traci Baker repeated — under oath — exactly the mastermind murderer’s script to get those nice Menendez brothers out of jail.
How do I know? Because I came into possession of brother Lyle’s four-page handwritten instructions to Traci (calling his parents Mr. and Mrs. Menendez so she is comfortable with the phrasing).
Under oath Traci repeated exactly the mastermind murderer’s script.
I will be off these next few days. Back again next week. At that time I shall report word-for-word what this four-page handwritten note to Traci says.
Young man to girlfriend: “I love you, adore you, worship you. I want nobody but you. You are my sun and stars. My one and only.” Girlfriend: “Yes, only please, I don’t want to get serious.”
Young man: “But wait — who’s serious?”
Only in New York kids, only in New York.