What does it mean when you keep dreaming about your ex?

Woman asleep and dreaming
Do you keep dreaming about someone? (Picture: Getty)

Sleep should be restful, but if a certain person keeps visiting you in your dreams, you can wake up feeling more than a little confused.

We are, of course, talking about your ex. Dreaming about a past love can cause a whole variety of emotions ranging from concern and guilt to joy and wonder.

But for the over-thinkers among us, there’s some good news: if your sub-conscious keeps showing you your ex, it doesn’t mean you’re desperate toget them back.

In fact, you should pay closer to attention to how your dreams make you feel, rather than what you’re actually seeing.

So, why do you keep dreaming about someone, and what does it mean?

Here’s everything you need to know.

Why do you keep dreaming about your ex?

Portrait of young couple playing on bed indoors at home, laughing.
Still in bed with your ex? (Picture: Getty Images)

According to dreams analyst Lauri Loewenberg, the meaning behind your dream depends on context.

Lauri told , ‘If it is a recent ex that is showing up in your dream, it is most likely because your subconscious is trying to help you process and understand the breakup so that you can come to peace with it and move on.’

She added: ‘If you are dreaming of an ex from some time ago, he or she may no longer be playing themselves but instead may represent something from that relationship that you may be recognising in your current life or in your current relationship.’

Dreaming about getting back together with an ex

Lauri Loewenberg believes dreams about reuniting with your ex might be a sign that you’re missing an aspect of the connection you shared with them – rather than the person themselves.

Lauri explained to : ‘This could be an indication that there is something about that relationship or that time in your life that you are reconnecting with now.

She said that you need to ask yourself if there parts of your past relationship that you could bring into your current life or relationship.

Couple holding hands next to river.
If you dream about getting back together with an ex, it might be a sign of what you want (Picture: Getty Images)

Dreaming about your ex being unwell or dying

Having a dream involving illness or death can be upsetting and worrying.

But, according to Dream Moods, dreams like this might actually be a depiction of you letting your ex go and moving on.

Dream Mood states: ‘your feelings for your ex are completely dead now.

‘The dream is a metaphor of how you have let go of the past and are ready to move on and fully devote yourself to new relationships.’

Dreaming about falling in love with your first love

Regardless of how much time has passed, you might still be dreaming about your first love.

Lauri told, ‘The ex we dream about the most is our first love, and – believe it or not – our first love will continue to show up in our dreams from time to time for decades!

Couple cuddling and drinking coffee on the sofa
Dream expert Lauri Loewenberg says the ex you’re most likely to dream about is your first love (Picture: Getty Images)

‘So years down the road, when you dream about them, it’s not that you want that person back but that you want that passion and excitement back.’

She added: ‘The first love is simply a gentle reminder that your current relationship may be getting a bit too routine and it is time to bring back the passion.’

So, if you keep dreaming about your first love, you could take it as a sign that you miss the feelings of exhilaration, passion or desire.

Dreaming about your abusive ex

According to Lauri, dreaming about an abusive ex reflects the scar they’ve left on you.

She explained to : ‘The relationship may be over and the ex no longer in your life but the psychological remnants may still be a problem and may be why you keep dreaming of that abusive ex.

‘The way they left you feeling about yourself will affect how you behave in and feel about current and future relationships.

‘Your subconscious keeps bringing the abusive ex back into your dreams to show you that he or she is still affecting you today.

‘If you have frequent dreams where you are reliving the abuse, that could be a sign of PTSD.’

Lauri said that these dreams are a sign that your subconscious is nagging you to get help so you can take your power back.

How can I stop dreaming about my ex?

Dream analyst Layne Dalfen told Oprah Mag that if you want to stop dreaming about your ex, you should .

She instructs: ‘As you’re falling asleep, or even during the day, just say ‘You know what? I’ve had enough. I don’t want to dream about them anymore!’ and you probably won’t.’

Related Posts


This will close in 0 seconds