The new season of Married at First Sight might just do the impossible

Watching dating shows often make me want to lock my doors, delete Hinge, and never look a man directly in the eye again.

Although the aim of the game is for singletons to find a romantic connection (and perhaps a few thousand more Instagram followers), it can often turn into an advert for the very thing you shouldn’t be looking for.

We’ve witnessed gaslighting on Love Island, something that has unfortunately become synonymous with the show. ITV’s latest offering, Bad Boyfriends, presents toxic love not as something to run from, but instead to overcome as a team. Even the couples who seem perfect, end up getting their ‘sad-ily’ ever after — Sabrina and Steven splitting after Love Is Blind will always be painful.

So forgive me if we’re a little scarred when it comes to this genre. But the new season of Married At First Sight UK may just do the impossible: convince me to believe that love really can flourish on reality shows once more.

It’s all thanks to dog walker Kristina, 30, and mechanic Kieran, 28, who tie the knot in the debut episode on E4.

As the women and men gather separately for their hen and stag nights, viewers are introduced to the future bride and groom. Sharing equal domination over the conversation, and jumping in to make jokes at any opportunity before laughing loudly at their own contributions, the early signs are positive.

In a VT, Kristina is shown giving reiki therapy to sheep, and dancing alone in her bedroom while dressed in a neon two-piece (we couldn’t help wondering how long the production made her act like she was at a silent rave for).

In a more sombre moment, Kristina said she’s felt used by men in the past and wanted someone who didn’t think she was too much — thankfully these fears later prove unwarranted.

Hubby-to-be Kieran, who was cheated on in the past by a long-term partner with his best friend, was understandably dubious about his chances of being able to trust somebody again.

He is sweet and proudly eccentric, telling viewers how he’d previously joined the circus and why he loves living alone in a static caravan in the middle of the woods.

Watching the couple showcase what makes them unique had me falling in love with them, and hoping they’d fall for each other.

On their wedding day, Kieran made the bold decision to wear fake buck teeth that protruded over his bottom lip, despite being advised against it by every person he bounced the idea off.

Luckily, it transpires to be the right call as Kristina laughed harder than I do at This Country, after he revealed they were, in fact, removable.

It turns out experts Mel Schilling, Paul C Brunson, Charlene Douglas, and the behind-the-scenes matchmakers may actually have nailed their job.

For years, social media videos have poked fun at what ‘shared values’ the experts look at when they set about matching couples. And sometimes we have to agree, because in what world were Adrian and Thomas ever going to work? But when they get it right, it’s special to watch.

Of course, positive first encounters don’t necessarily guarantee any kind of longevity, and so I am fearful it isn’t going to work out for K and K.

But the fact I already care so much is a good indication that series nine of MAFS UK is going to be one for the books.

And that’s before I even mention the second duo who wed in the first episode. In one action-packed day we get unlikely doppelgängers, and family disputes — they are really feeding us with the 2024 cast.

My only criticism is the individual VTs can feel a little cheesy and formulaic. One moment the singletons are telling us how great their life is before the music dramatically slows. It’s at this point they share a heartbreak that still terrorises them. Finally, the lively tunes kick back in as they discuss their upcoming wedding… and repeat with a different face. I understand the editors have to help us get to know their backstories in a short amount of time, but there must be a way to shake them up.

I usually find myself willing the weddings to be over so that I can get stuck into the dramatic dinner parties, but this time, I am committed right from the altar.

While they are vowing to do everything to make their relationships work, I am vowing to be on my sofa for 9pm every weeknight.

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