‘Putting this here before my mom tells everyone,’ wrote actress Emma Roberts on Instagram, alongside a loved-up snap of her and her new-fiancé, Cody John.
The pair announced their engagement online, much to the delight of her fans, who may recall that the 33-year-old doesn’t always get to share her own big news.
Back in 2020, Emma’s mum, Kelly Cunningham, broke the news that her daughter was pregnant, while responding to DMs from fans.
Speaking on Jimmy Kimmel, Emma explained the situation: ‘I was keeping my pregnancy pretty low-key, but unfortunately my mother has Instagram. Mothers and Instagram, it’s a bad combination. She spilled the beans.’
Emma went onto say that, after a tabloid speculated that she might be expecting a child with her then-boyfriend, Garrett Hedlund, fans were congratulating the soon-to-be grandmother.
Rather than maintaining a ‘no comment’, Kelly thanked everyone for their well wishes and said how excited she was.
‘It was a disaster,’ said Emma, admitting that she even blocked her mum at one point.
While we might not have a lot in common with millionaire Hollywood A-lister Emma, this is one thing we can relate to.
From announcing job promotions, to posting baby scans on Facebook, parents and in-laws always seem to let the cat out of the bag.
Reddit is awash with people asking whether it’s okay to be frustrated by loose-lipped loved ones.
‘Does anybody else’s mom tell everyone their business?,’ asked one Reddit user.
‘Yes, and it’s so frustrating!’ came a reply. ‘My mom told all of my business it’s like she had no filter.’
Another person said their mum was on a ‘a low-information diet’.
So why is that our nearest and dearest can’t seem to keep schtum?
Psychologist, Emma Kenny, says that there are various reasons why parents might do this – but it usually comes from a place of love.
‘Ultimately, it’s excitement,’ Emma tells Metro.co.uk. ‘People feel genuinely thrilled for you and they go into that child state of wanting to share with everyone because it makes them feel really happy, and they want to extend that joy and happiness with others.
‘Sadly this means they forget to ask permission, but while they may act in haste, it comes from a good place and a good space.’
There are ways to manage the situation, though.
‘You need to be very clear from the get go about the fact that you want to share the news when you feel ready,’ says Emma.
‘Explain that the person you’ve told the information to has been gifted the knowledge because they have a very close relationship with you, but you don’t want it going any further.’
It’s when individuals ignore this warning, that you should stand your ground.
‘At that point you can tell someone that you’re unhappy and they’ve breached your confidentially,’ says Emma.
There’s also a ‘different type of sharing’ that should raise alarm bells.
Emma explains: ‘This is when a person in your life just doesn’t respect you or your wishes, and sees their needs as more important.
‘We’ll see this in relationships when an in-law feels they have a bigger role in your partner’s life than they actually have, and that they therefore have a right to go ahead and share news of a wedding or pregnancy, for example.
‘That’s when someone is trying to mark their territory and assert a level of superiority in your life.
‘That is a relationship issue and something that needs to be confronted.’
But Emma says most of us could benefit from taking a step back when we have good news.
‘Ask yourself a bigger question: is it really that important that you’re the one to tell people? Is it really that powerful that your life would be forever changed if someone else went ahead and shared it? Are you actually just taking it a little too personally?
‘In the end everyone is going to know anyway. Holding onto it is what makes it so precious and powerful.
‘We can get a little too hung up on these things – it’s good to realise that very few people are going to care that deeply about the news that you have to share, even if it is the most important thing you’re ever you’re going to tell the world.
‘Everyone has got busy lives, everyone has got their own story and very few people are going to have their world moved and their Earth shaken because you say that you’re pregnant or getting married.
‘Recognising that and being less ego-centric is going to benefit you and all your relationships.
‘People do share information that they shouldn’t share, but usually it comes from a place of care and deep connection with you – that means you’re lucky.
‘As opposed to crucifying that person who has “betrayed” you, maybe consider this angle: aren’t you lucky that you’re loved to such a degree that someone finds news about your life that important that they just want to sing about it to the rest of the world?’
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