As Dave Portnoy realized his boat no longer remained tethered to a buoy, leaving him at the sea’s mercy with a dead boat, the brutal reality of the situation set in.
“I knew I was dead meat right then,” Portnoy told NBC Boston on Tuesday of his recent boating scare. “The current was strong. It was probably 20-mph wind on Nantucket. I had no radio. I had no engine. I had no nothing. And I was just floating off to sea, and I knew I was screwed. I knew I was in trouble right then.
“I don’t want to say I stayed calm. The ocean doesn’t care how much money you got. It’ll drown you quick, it’ll humble you quick. I was very nervous. I didn’t know what was gonna happen.”
Portnoy divulged more details from Monday’s harrowing journey, which ended when the U.S. Coast Guard rescued him off the coast of Nantucket.
The controversial Barstool Sports founder chalked the situation up to his inexperience, claiming Monday marked just his third voyage and that he primarily has experience with dingers.
Portnoy did not know whether he untethered his boat before seeing if the vessel had any juice or if the boat just broke free of the buoy, but either way, he landed in a dicey predicament.
“The boat was dead — totally dead,” Portnoy said.
Portnoy’s NBC interview featured him in front of a sign that read, “Don’t Give Up The Ship,” a Navy motto, and said the signage prevented him from jumping overboard and later having to burn said sign.
As he drifted on the water, Portnoy claimed he did something that had never been done before, according to local folks.
“I actually shot a flare gun while in the harbor. Nobody has ever, I think, shot the flare distress symbol while still actually in the harbor. I did it,” Portnoy said. “I don’t know if I’ll be criticized or made fun of for it.”
Portnoy eventually ran into an unnamed woman in a rowboat who he said recognized him, claiming she told him she would not make a TikTok of the situation.
She radioed into the harbor before pivoting to the Coast Guard.
“It’s one of those stories you hear, an unknown hero from the night,” Portnoy said. “I don’t know her name. She also had a passenger who couldn’t have been more than six years old but looked like she was pretty familiar with the ocean. Neither of them were as nervous as I was.”
He added: “Thank you, thank you. I owe her my life. Without her, I could still be halfway to St. Barts, who knows?”
This incident marked another scary moment for Portnoy, who shockingly announced earlier this year he previously had been diagnosed with skin cancer.
“The ocean’s a scary place,” Portnoy said. “When you don’t know a lot about anything on a boat, which I didn’t, I’m sure there’s a way to manually drop the anchor, I couldn’t figure it out, I was lost, you can’t take the ocean lightly, that would be my advice for any wannabe captains. I’ll get back out there. Life knocks you down, you got to get back up. But I’m thankful to be here for this interview with you right now.”
Portnoy also praised the Coast Guard for their efforts, giving them a 10 out of 10 in the style of his famous pizza reviews, complimenting them for being “pure class.”
“Without them, maybe I get eaten by a shark, you just don’t know,” he said.