It’s an issue that affects between 30 to 40-per-cent of women, but the sex therapy is aimed at both partners.
A new sex therapy developed by a Université de Montréal researcher is helping women whose sexual desire has diminished, a problem that affects between 30 and 40 per cent of adult women.
The couples-based therapy was recently tested and standardized by Sophie Bergeron, a professor in the Université de Montréal’s psychology department and holder of the Canada Research Chair in Intimate Relationships and Sexual Well-Being. It will be the subject of a randomized clinical trial starting in January.
“We talk about a disorder of sexual interest and arousal when women have low desire for at least six months, with significant distress that accompanies it,” Bergeron said. “Low desire in women is the most common reason why people consult sexologists and couples psychologists.”
Up to one-quarter of women who notice a decrease in their sexual desire feel such distress. When faced with this situation, Bergeron added, both partners may question themselves, feel inadequate, or even begin to doubt their attraction to the other or the other’s attraction to them.
Therapy, she said, helps normalize these feelings, to understand this is a common problem and to accept “it’s not because people are doing something wrong that they’re experiencing this problem.”
The feasibility study conducted by Bergeron and her colleagues Natalie O. Rosen of Dalhousie University and Katrina Bouchard of the University of British Columbia found moderate to significant improvements in the core symptoms of low dyadic sexual desire and sexual distress.
There is every indication men have a somewhat stronger underlying sexual desire than women, Bergeron said. If some men have a weaker desire, she said, “women’s sexuality would be more malleable, more adaptive.”
Desire disorders rarely stem from biomedical factors, Bergeron said. They more often originate from interaction within the couple. It’s important to see it as a problem that concerns both partners, she said.
“We really formulate the problem as belonging to the couple rather than to the woman.”
“A recent study says that it could be related to the many responsibilities women still have in heterosexual couples, their increased mental load,” Bergeron said. “So there are also important psychosocial factors that would play a role. Women have a lot of responsibilities, a lot of work, it will be up to them to take care of children, aging elder parents, and so on.”
The intervention, which is offered only in virtual mode to increase its accessibility, is based on communication, acceptance, openness and vulnerability between partners. While other therapists will see the woman alone, this intervention first targets the development of intimacy within the couple.
The therapy also invites participants to talk openly about sexuality, one of the most difficult subjects for couples, to the point where many avoid addressing it. Participants in this therapy will be invited to share, for example, their preferences in sexuality.
A good part of the intervention also concerns the debunking of myths related to sexuality, including those that lead women to blame themselves and feel guilty for their lack of desire.
“We must remove the burden from the woman’s shoulders,” Bergeron said. “We must understand desire, what are the accelerators of desire, but also what are the brakes on desire. We ask the couple to examine their daily lives to identify these factors. We work a lot on the development and deepening of intimacy.”
Therapists also work on developing empathy, she added, since they know it is “an important protective factor that will improve desire.” Since sexuality involves a large part of vulnerability, “the capacity for empathic response of each partner is important (…) because we want couples to be able to access that part of themselves, to be vulnerable with the other, and to be welcomed in that, therefore by empathy.”
Couples will be invited to practice body awareness exercises in order to re-learn touch, but without the pressure that it will then result in sexual intercourse.
“The treatment never aims to increase the frequency of sexual intercourse,” Bergeron said. “We don’t even try to increase desire, because that would be counterproductive. We put a lot of emphasis on how to experience more pleasure in sexual intercourse.”
“The rationale is that the more pleasant it is, the more we should want to indulge in it a little more often.”