Late-night hosts roast Biden over debate night flop against Trump: ‘Worst debate performance of all time’

‘I think that Biden debated as well as Abraham Lincoln, if you dug him up right now’

After a brief break, Stephen Colbert returned to the air Monday night and wasted no time in sounding off on Joe Biden’s dismal performance during last month’s first presidential debate.

As a variety of prominent voices have called on the 81-year-old Biden to exit the 2024 race after he stumbled and mumbled his way through a 90-minute exchange against presumptive Republican nominee Donald Trump, Colbert wasted no time in skewering the incumbent.

“So, should he stay? Should he go? Who am I to recommend? I don’t know what’s going on in Joe Biden’s mind. Something I apparently have in common with Joe Biden,” Colbert said.

Calling Trump, 78, “a monster,” Colbert said Biden just needed to project an air of vitality on air to assuage voter fears about his age.

“Going into it, all Joe had to do was allay people’s fears that he was too old, but instead, Biden’s shakiness allowed Trump to get away with 90 minutes of lies, racism and weird golf brags, which is why a lot of people are saying this was the worst debate performance of all time. But I don’t think that’s fair. I think that Biden debated as well as Abraham Lincoln, if you dug him up right now,” he joked.

Colbert also chided Biden for blaming his poor showing on a cold. “Oh, I hate those summer colds where your voice gets hoarse and your brain explodes,” he joked. 

Elsewhere, he mocked reports that Biden plans to stop scheduling events past 8 p.m. “So the state dinners are all going to be early bird specials? Also, which 8 p.m., sir? East Coast, West Coast, Moscow? The world does not stop at 8 p.m. Is Kamala Harris going to have to clock in as night president?” Colbert said.

But Colbert grew serious as he contemplated the choice Biden now faces, even if he has defiantly told critics he plans to stay in the race.

“I don’t know what’s the right thing to do here,” Colbert said. “And I think that this is actually a battle of two virtues. One of them is perseverance. Biden is famous for that…[the other] is self-sacrifice. And self-sacrifice takes a particular kind of courage, and that is a courage I believe Joe Biden is capable of. I believe he’s a good enough man. He is a good enough president to put the needs of the country ahead of the needs of his ego, and however painful that might be, it is possible.”

Calling Trump “a wildly dangerous criminal and pathological liar,” fellow late-night personality Seth Meyers also hit out at Biden.

“The stakes of this election could not be any higher, which is why it would be nice to have a Democratic candidate who could competently articulate those stakes to the American people, instead of whatever the hell this was,” he said in his return to TV.

“That’s not what this is about,” Meyers told viewers. “Giving it your all is what salsa lessons at a retirement home is all about. This isn’t about how you feel. This is about how voters feel.”

Colbert also dismissed Biden’s attempt to put a positive spin on a likely loss. “I think that’s what The Karate Kid was about,” he said, remarking on Biden’s comments to Stephanopoulos. “This is about democracy and nuclear war and, you know, that stuff.”

On The Daily Show Monday night, Jon Stewart also chastised Biden for his response, saying, “There are no participation trophies in end-game democracy.”

Over at the Tonight Show, host Jimmy Fallon was equally harsh, likening Biden’s execution against Trump to a firework “that doesn’t ignite.”

Fallon also poked fun at the incessant chatter that Biden is poised to drop out of the race.

He added that Democrats’ plan to replace Biden will become to “tie a bunch of balloons to the White House and hope he floats away like that old guy from Up.”

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